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Lambs to Slaughter

Continued from page 6

Published on April 17, 2008

But seeing Doherty punished would make it just a little easier for him — and, he guesses, other victims — to get through the day.

Sam hasn't had a good night's sleep in 10 years, he says; Doherty constantly appears in his nightmares. In his dreams, he acts out elaborate revenge fantasies, such as the one in which he uses a rusty shovel to decapitate Doherty.

As a reaction to the abuse, he's hardened himself, he says. When strangers say hello, he ignores them. He still carries a weapon, though now it's only a bat or a nightstick instead of a gun or a knife. He only recently broke off ties to a white supremacist group. Sam has come across ruthless people, but he calls Doherty "the only monster I've ever met in my life."

With evident pride, Sam says, "I'm not a nice person." He describes himself as an agnostic. Asked whether he believes in Heaven and Hell, he says, "I would like to believe there's a Heaven, but I doubt it." Eyes flashing, he adds, "And if there's anything like Hell, then I'll see him there."

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